It does. Always. Continuously. Somewhere in the kaleidoscope, change arrives accompanied by a feeling of emptiness. The change may start in your outer circumstances, like a physical move or the end of a relationship. Or it may be something bewildering showing up in your interior landscape that you haven’t even identified as “change”.
You may feel uncomfortable in your own skin. Your tendency might be to fill the empty space with concern, fear or confusion.
After all, you are in new territory and it feels unfamiliar. You cannot find the usual markers that give form. Instead it feels like you’ve entered a black hole that has sucked up anything you could normally count on to define yourself.
When I’m in the midst of great change I often feel like crying. There’s no emotional content attached to it. It’s simply the experience of this vast “empty” space.
What do you do with the feeling of emptiness? Do you attach meaning to it with an explanation for what you are experiencing? As if your words of definition could settle the feeling of spinning untethered in space?
There is another way to be with this.
What if you surrendered to the open place without creating the boundaries of explanation?
Emptiness Before the Beginning
I’ve become good at hanging out in the in-between. It has taken time: repeated experiences of being in the void. I’ve learned that I have to give physical time to this emptiness. Because there is necessary space between ending and beginning.
As something completes in life, there is a void, a creative pause, before something new begins.
Why is this so important? In this void are all the possibilities of the next moment in time.
The tendency is to create an explanation for your experience. However, that does not give you any space. The need to define what you are feeling closes the door to the birth of something brand new. You cannot define what has not yet formed.
If you give yourself the space to simply be in the void, without control or expectation, you will indeed emerge.
Keep returning to the breath and it will carry you through the void, allowing whatever is to begin. After all, the beginning is what comes next. There’s no need to rush it.
Take a breath. Release it. Take another. Devote some dedicated time of concentration/meditation. It doesn’t need to be hours of quiet, perhaps only 15 minutes. Then allow the question to simmer within you. Let responses bubble up into your awareness. Notice new ways of thinking, of images or ideas that arise spontaneously. Pay attention to your dreams. Let it happen. Be aware. See where it leads you next. Let yourself savor this process of receiving from yourself. Don’t judge whatever comes up, just receive it. Make notes.
You may want to share something from this process. Sharing is an important way to anchor an insight in your body. It leads you to deeper insight. It stimulates action.
Share what moves you!