We live in a world that can be highly charged and agitated.
The business world is filled with exchanges which occur through emails, text messages, faxes, phone conversations, blogs and any other form of communication out there. We are constantly bombarded with time limits, greater demands on the expected results and more complex details. Our world has become more complex, more global and more complicated. People are more frustrated and the layers of communication become less trusting and more fractured.
There are phone calls from upset clients, situations where the control and manipulation seem to be the only method of direction, threats run rampant and blaming everyone else is the mode of operating. The majority of people are frustrated, stressed and feeling out of control. I am not saying this is our norm, but we all know it exists.
The reality is that it is far from our desires and probably our intentions.
Someone tries to take control, an action which moves their interactions forward and produces results. How should we work with these charged situations? How about those coming from others? What is important is to do it in responsible ways to limit the frustration, upsets and destructive energies coming through and/or at us.
This issue is becoming more common as results seem to be harder to attain.
As these interactions occur, our time is eaten up by corrective actions, but our attitudes and perspectives become more defensive, more agitated and more in agreement with the tone of others who are frustrated. Thus we adopt this feeling within ourselves.
It’s not necessary to adopt these energies. I remind myself of this when I get caught up in the havoc! This is not the way I want to feel and I am sure this is not how you would like to build the foundation of your life. We need to see how we respond, not react.
Shift the Energy
We each have inherent systems within us that can be our greatest assets, if only we remember. Our goal: shift the energy, to move in a more productive direction. We have been taught that patience is a virtue. But we often forget how to get there!
The most important person to have patience with is with ourselves. It is necessary to divorce yourself from the tone of the communiqué, forgive yourself and the other person from within you, taking a deep breath or two and a moment to read between the lines. This may require you to end a conversation and contact that person in a few minutes or literally shift the focus right to the problem so you take charge with a direct question. Often it is better to address the elephant in the room, rather than to let it lay there and sabotage or inhibit the productive direction of the “next step” in everyone’s goal.
Once you are calmer and have taken the hook out of your listening, be responsive, not reactive. Regain your respect by replacing the feeling of blame or punishment with the feeling that you know the action needed. Rely on your “knowing” from a calm place and the answer will be there, often miraculously and sometimes surprisingly!
You are always only a step away from the calm, by returning to your breath.
If you do not know what to say, and this is the truth, let the other person know your experience. If you do know, educate if necessary, but honor all parties by asking questions that can identify the alignment or gaps.
More often than not, what people want is someone to be responsive.
The Clarity of Alliance
If you need additional guidance, let the other person know further research is needed. Do the research and follow up! The answer may not be what the other person wants to hear, but a clear honest message from you will go a long way, especially when the response is known within you as the true direction needed. Make the person aware of the next steps, if there are any. Most of all, notice how your alliance and clarity has made each of you feel.
Always take steps to shift the energy to a cooperative and productive result, if you have the ability. No one likes the feeling of unrest within their body.
Remember, your breath is the key to moving you away from the hook that causes you to keep the agitation alive. If you can shift the agitation within you, move to calm and provide direction often the other party will move with you.
If a shift is not created, give yourself and the other person a break. Offer to call back when your guard is down and surrender is more evident.
Charged situations are inherent in daily life. Know that there is always a way to come to clarity.