A client recently asked me: “Why is it so difficult to figure out how to operate this thing I call me?”
Who is this “me”? Well, let me ask first, who were you when you were born? Was that “you”?
Of course your life experiences, your relationships and family history shape your internal thoughts, your feelings and your actions. They impact the attitude you hold towards yourself.
But is your attitude who you are?
Think about it. Have you built your sense of worthiness on what you do, how much you know or the amount of money you make? Are your actions designed to gain approval?
All of these are patterns that you wove into the fabric of your being. They reveal themselves in your inner dialogue, the way that you talk to yourself about life, and the tone you use with yourself and with others.
They are not, however, part of your “original being.”
The lie of self-doubt
Does your inner voice of doubt run the show?
Why do I ask? Because inner voices rooted in judgment are not trust-worthy. They are your patterns. And no matter where the patterns of self-doubt originated, you now get to choose whether to continue listening to those voices.
You get to reweave the fabric in a new way.
“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint,
then by all means paint and that voice
will be silenced.” ~ Vincent van Gogh
Creative expression—of any and every kind, is so important. Allowing your creative expression to flow dissolves old patterns.
If something stands in your way? Self-doubt, perhaps? Well, sometimes you just need to begin. To begin creates momentum.
Self-worth, determined by anything other than your deep inner connection, is built on quicksand. I used to live with the feeling that I had built an illusory image of myself and would soon be “found out.” One wrong step and I would be lost to the quicksand.
Illusions have no substance.
The still, small voice of your essential self cannot be heard above the ravages of self-judgment. Recognize that judgment and self-doubt interrupt the peace within you. Let go of the weight. The more you listen, the louder and clearer your true voice grows.
Along with the grounding foundation of trust in your inner relationship, comes a discovery of unconditional love within you. This inner intimacy is a key aspect of your owner’s manual for the magnificent operation of “this thing I call me.”
Discernment and your Inner Connection
Once you decide to develop this inner connection, you begin to discover your feeling body. (For more on this, read about the inner compass.) The feeling body is your barometer. As this intimate relationship grows, your discernment sharpens. You know which way the wind blows, inside and out. Your feeling body gives you the ability to move forward with a resounding “yes.” You have the ability to determine the next step that is right for you.
Begin to identify the thoughts and voices that come from old patterns and differentiate those from the ones that arise from being gentle and patient with yourself. The voice that comes from love is your true voice.
This is the foundation of self-trust. As you develop it, as you stand within it, you will know the “right” steps to take.
“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Time to Reflect
Take a breath. Release it. Take another. Devote some dedicated time of concentration/meditation. It doesn’t need to be hours of quiet, perhaps only 15 minutes. Then allow the question to simmer within you. Let responses bubble up into your awareness. Notice new ways of thinking, of images or ideas that arise spontaneously. Pay attention to your dreams. Let it happen. Be aware. See where it leads you next. Let yourself savor this process of receiving from yourself. Don’t judge whatever comes up, just receive it. Make notes.
What do you discover?
You may want to share something from this process. Sharing anchors insight in your body. It leads you to deeper insight. It stimulates action. Share what moves you!