You know this one well, don’t you? How easy it is to feel hurt by someone’s judgement of you. Those tentacles of approval-seeking extend into some awfully dark corners.
Bam! Your self-worth takes a hit.
Here is what’s happening. When you measure your own value against a set of expectations of how you think you should act, your success by the money that you earn, the acclaim that you gather, or the way that others view you, your foundation is shaky.
Your self-esteem is “other-dependent”. And that is indeed, a painful way to live.
Think about it. What is the measure of your own value? Do you calculate your worth by how others respond to you? Do you weigh your actions, thoughts and feelings, determining your self-worth by the summation? Notice if you look at the actions of others to measure your worth, comparing yourself to what you see.
Your self-worth is yours
When you bow to others’ wishes, you close the door to discovering and fulfilling your own needs.
Instead, can you stand with what you want in the face of outside disapproval? What if your true worth came from inside of you? Will you claim that?
Your true self-worth comes from who you are, not what you do. And who you are is magnificent.
Maybe you simply need to take some time to re-discover that.
Will you do this? Take some time? It is so worthwhile!
Take Time to Reflect
Go ahead. Take a breath. Release it. Take another. Devote some dedicated time of concentration/meditation. It doesn’t need to be hours of quiet, perhaps only 15 minutes. Then allow the question to simmer within you through the weekend. Let responses bubble up into your awareness. Notice new ways of thinking, of images or ideas that arise spontaneously. Pay attention to your dreams. Let it happen. Be aware. See where it leads you next. Let yourself savor this process of receiving from yourself. Don’t judge whatever comes up, just receive it. Make notes.
You may want to share something from this process. Sharing can be an important way to anchor an insight in your body. It can lead you to deeper insight. It can stimulate action.
Feel free to use this arena to share what moves you.